There are so many definitions of family rolling around the internet. Here is my definition: love. Show your child how to love, unconditionally and without reservations. Use that love to build them up, show them how to succeed in life. Give them the ability to believe that if they work hard enough and persevere, they can achieve the unbelievable. Remember the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell – it takes 10,000 hours to perfect anything.
I saw this article and thought it was great. This is a list from a dad, who is giving advice to other dads on how to be a great father and husband. Men are key in your childrens upbringing, whether you have boys or girls. Typically, if you have a little girl, the relationship she has with the men in her life (either father or grandfather or other father figure) will drive what she expects from her own male-female relationships. Most boys will use that same male figure to model their own behavior on how they treat women, how they tackle life obstacles and their value systems.
I am not saying that a mothers or other female influence is not as important, just different. (That is a post for another day)
From this article, my favorite pieces of advice were:
4. A guy smarter than you just told your pregnant wife she looks beautiful. For the second time. Don’t get complacent.
30. Go big on Mother’s Day. Every year.
44. A kid’s childhood does not need to be luxurious perfection. Aim for pleasurable survival.
76. You will be in charge of the plunger. Get used to it.
Frankly, plunger duty is gross and totally my husbands job when he is home. I would add to the original authors list:
- Be authentic – kids can smell a lie from a mile away. And they mimic what they see you DO, not what you SAY.
- Be involved – Even if you are not the primary parent, get over it and get involved in your kids life. That will speak volumes and show your children how important they really are in your life.
- Put the cell phone, laptop away and turn off the TV – As your kids grow up, talk to them, listen to their ideas and their stories. It will astound you.
I like these quotes because It shows a realistic view that parenting is hard work, focused on the family and shows we don’t always get everything right the first time. That is why the mornings keep coming around. It gives you the ability to set the restart button.