The other day, a person I follow on twitter, @manvdadhood, retweeted this article. This article seems to be a great piece written from a moms perspective on the best way to raise boys. I am the mom of 3 very amazing boys. And, let’s face it, most boys of any age are from a different planet than us ladies. While I adore my boys, there is rarely a day that goes by when I don’t think ‘Really?!? What is THAT about?’
Those thoughts are usually attached to some sort of bodily function they think is hilarious, or a the deep discussion of how Batman is cooler than Superman because he has all kinds of gadgets, see like me mom, and I can dig a really big hole. I just shake my head and agree, because really I have no clue, except ‘Yes, it is a lovely hole. Where are you going with that hole?’
According to Dr. Peggy Drexler, author of the article: From Boys to Men: Raising Independent, Open-Minded Sons
Through years studying children and adolescents and their families, I’ve observed that the mothers who are the most successful at tapping into their sons’ boy power are those who realize that boyishness can, and should, show up in many different ways, from messing around in the mud to running home to help fix dinner to expressing themselves creatively. To help your son harness his “boy power” and grow into a strong, independent man:
This resonates with me on a very deep level. As a mom to boys, I only need to understand they are boys. I think every mother wants her boy to grow into a smart, loving, strong, independent man. Someone who is confident enough in themselves to: identify what they want out of life, plan for it and go get it.
So when my oldest wants to dig in the dirt and play in the mud, that’s okay. When the middle child wants dance class and music lessons, that’s okay (as soon as we can afford them) and when the youngest wants cooking classes, that’s okay too. Each boy has a unique set of abilities and within that framework, I will instill the values of love and kindness. I don’t need to worry about understanding them as ‘boys’ so much as understanding them as people. The ‘boy’ thing they’ve got figured out; I don’t need to do it for them. I just have to love them, and that is easy…most days.