Raising Boys – A Journey

I saw this on two blogs I love to read, as they both give great insight to the daily appreciation and uniqueness of raising boys: The Good Men Project and Three Wild Things. As mothers, sometimes this is hard, as boys really can be from mars! I love how these blogs and other forums are starting to celebrate males in a way that has, in my lifetime, been reserved for women.

I think this is a great post. I grew up with a younger brother, a father who travelled a lot (military) and a mom born of the feminist movement. Needless to say, much of the message I received was ‘Men are not required, dumb and mostly a waste of space, unless they were mowing the grass or taking out the trash.’ Now, as the mother of three boys, I am learning the delight there can be in the ‘maleness’ referenced by this article, the rough housing, the noises and the different ways they learn about life. I want to raise my boys to be smart, honorable, capable, independent men who are able to take care of themselves. But to do that, I need to celebrate them, as individuals (we also have a set of twins so sometimes that is an issue), as boys and as members of the community. It’s been a hard road for me to try and squelch that inner voice I grew up with, and the journey is not over, but I’m determined to give my boys, and all parents I suspect, encouraging support to become the wonderful person they were meant to be.

Three Wild Things

It’s clearly poetic justice that I gave birth to boys instead of girls.

Growing up, boys were completely foreign territory to me. My only sibling is my younger sister and, as kids, we were much closer to our mother than our father. He lived in the same house, yet he was somewhat remote, a mystery to me.

Like my father, boys were also a mystery to me. They were cut from a different cloth, with different body parts and temperaments, living in a world made up of seek and destroy games, where special attention and privileges seemed to be just another perk of their world. Girls were not allowed on their turf. Instead, they were condescended to and used as an example to point out weakness in other boys. It was a place where girls sought boys’ attention in often desperate attempts, competed for them, did everything to win them…

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3 thoughts on “Raising Boys – A Journey

  1. Hi Lynette!

    Thank you so much for re-blogging this and for your insightful comments here and on the GMP site. I really appreciate what you have to say about your own experience and how it informs how you’re raising your sons now. I think as parents, we’re always just trying to do it even better for this next generation we’re raising, than the previous generations who raised us and I’m so glad we have resources and communities at our fingertips to pull from. It really is so interesting to learn about being male through our sons and to learn to truly appreciate them for their individuality and uniqueness. Personally, I find it reassuring to find other moms of boys who can relate to similar experiences and discuss them constructively. Thanks again for continuing the dialogue and I look forward to following your blog!

    J.

    • You hit the nail on the head about wanting to create a better life for the next generation. Life is about cycles, you can see it in fashion and in the beliefs held by society. I hope we are coming to a point where all kids are told ‘You’re valuable, just the way you are’.

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