Brothers – Love and Hate

ArchieNSeanMy oldest boys are twins, born 1 minute apart. THAT is a fun story for another day. But, after 39 weeks of pregnancy, 2 days of labor, I finally kicked them out had my babies to love. They were so little at 7lbs, but they were restless until we settled them in the same crib. It was only when they were nose to now, they finally settled to sleep. Awwwe…

Fast forward 6 years. The house has changed, we have added a baby brother, started Kindergarten and daddy has a job. The boys are still close, sharing a room and about 3 nights they still prefer to sleep together. They love to play trains and legos with each other, but I also keep getting emails from my boys teachers. Sean hit Archie for no reason. Archie scratched Sean. We have now been warned about the code of conduct for their school. Their school is amazing, so I have a hard time thinking it has anything to do with the school environment. The fighting only happens between them. And before you ask, I would move them into different classrooms, but there is only one classroom for each grade in their school.

My boys are good boys (mostly) and they do love to roughhouse. Thankfully, they also usually keep the fisticuffs between the two of them.  But it is still inappropriate behavior, especially in school. We don’t have many perks like screen time or gaming devices around here, so its hard to take away privileges they don’t normally see anyway. I’m at a loss how to handle this stage. Sure, it might be some reaction to daddy being gone, or because they are tired with their new “get up with mommy and go to and at daycare” routine. But there has to be something I can do, use teach to show a healthy show of physical boy-roughhousing affection and utter chaos and confusion, not to mention pain/blood. As a girl, this level of physicality is foreign, but I won’t let them hide behind the excuse that “boys will be boys” either.

If anyone has any ideas about how to honor the boy in them while teaching them to behave at school, I would appreciate it!

Posts I’ve found to be great reading:
http://writingbetweenfriends.com/2013/01/17/boys-to-men/
http://www.raisinggreatmen.com/2013/02/are-boys-and-men-becoming-obsolete.html
http://www.babble.com/toddler/toddler-behavior-learning/raising-boys-fathers-parenting-advice/

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Brothers – Love and Hate

  1. I am certainly no expert, but when I was teaching full-time, I fell in love with the “Love and Logic” approach for both parents and teachers. There is so much to say about it, but I think the best is just to send you to the source (http://www.loveandlogic.com/). Think it’s awesome though that you are focused on helping them learn self-control. So important for boys to learn self-control esp. with the world whispering and yelling at the top of their lungs (so to speak) that boys have no self control. Yes. They. Do.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s