Just in case the men out there didn’t realize, tomorrow is Valentines Day. Whatever you do, do NOT forget the girls/women in your life. Send your mother a card (many moms feel a special ‘I love you bond’ with our sons – in a non-creepy way of course). Give your little girl a special hug or tell her how much you love her and how special she is. Remember, she will pick the men in her life based on you, and your actions. Model what you want her to look for. And for the wives/girlfriends, please remember most of us get emotional about the emotional. You know your person. You know what they like. They like traditional – break down and do something traditional, candy/flowers/dinner etc. If your person likes understated, candles at dinner with the kids. Use it as a teachable moment. We are going to show mommy that we think she is special. Whatever you do, do not make her cook and clean the dishes! (been there, done that) Do what you can afford. We have to be honest with each other. Honest about our expectations and how we can realistically fullfill them. Whatever you do, do not fall for the “I hate Valenties Day” routine, unless you know her well enough to know its true. My man knows, I appreciate him getting me flowers AFTER they go on sale. Its even better when they are a $5 bunch from the grocery store and he has one of the boys bring them to me.
Women, take a chill pill. It is a hallmark holiday. It is nice to feel appreciated, but lets be honest we need to appreciate back. Appreciation doesn’t/shouldn’t happen only 1 day out of the year. It can be hard between working, family and social obligations to stop and say “Thank you” to our partner, but we should. We should also be open about our need to hear it. Men cannot read our mind. We as women are slightly psyhic thanks to our natural intuition. Men do not have that. They usually have to be hit upside the head (figuratively of course) with what we want. A man once said “I told her I loved her at the wedding. If anything changes, I will let her know.” Not normally how a women things, so we need to let the men in our life know what we need. If we need to feel special because something has been planned out for weeks, remind him. If he does come up with a plan, even the day of, honor that. Know he is trying. Sometimes men think on things, and think on things, and think on things, and think on things. You want action, take action yourself. I know it is nice to have someone else in charge for a night, but if you really want to go to Restaurant X for dinner. Make the reservations. If you are flexible, be flexible and honor that he is trying.
Last night, I called my oldest son into the kitchen by saying “Archie, I need to talk to you.” He comes in with a dejected look on his face, like “What did I do now?” You know the look. I told him the teacher emailed me. He looked even more glum. He was trying to figure out what he had done to get into trouble. I told him his teacher said she could tell he was really trying to be good in class and stay focused on his work this week. The smile that lit up his little face was amazing. His chest puffed out and he said “Im trying mommy.” If we treated our husbands/boyfriends like we want our sons to be treated in the future, imagine how awesome that would be? Sometimes, going with the flow, acknowleging the try, can make a world of difference.